


What Haunts Us

by Morgane (smilla840)



Category: Flashpoint
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M, Nothing actually happens between Ed and Greg but the feelings are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilla840/pseuds/Morgane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Ed needs someone who understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Haunts Us

**Author's Note:**

> Tag for the episode ‘Haunting the Barn’ (used to be 1x11, now I think it’s 2x03).

Sophie tells him to come to bed and he nods and says he will, but instead he finds himself sitting in front of his cupboard, studying the articles and thinking about what he could have done differently, could have done _better_ for each and every one of them. 

For Dan.

The events of the day have hit him hard, the sight of his mentor fighting old demons dragging up ghosts from his own past. And so here he is, remembering all of them in a solitary vigil. It hurts, this commemoration of failure, but he doesn’t want to forget about any of them – he may be forced to take lives when he’s got no other choice but he sure as hell doesn’t want to grow used to it.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, mouthing their names, – could be minutes or could be hours – before a hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Hey, Eddie.”

Ed doesn’t start – he knows that voice and that hand as well as he knows his own – and looks up to meet Greg’s eyes in acknowledgment before they go back to his shrine.

“Hey.” His voice sounds scratchy to his own ears as he forces that one word past dry lips but Greg looks like shit and really doesn’t need to be worrying about him on top of everything else. It’s inevitable that he will but at least Ed can try to reassure him that he hasn’t gone off the deep end. He’ll be okay. He just needs a moment.

“Sophie says you’ve been in here for a couple of hours now. Want to get some air?”

Ed shakes his head. He isn’t ready, not yet – he’s got to box all his feelings in again.

“Okay buddy. We’ll give it more time. I’ve got your back.”

So he sits there a little longer and Greg’s hand never leaves his shoulder, anchoring him and giving him the focus he needs to get himself back under control, his body relaxing fractionally against his friend.

When he starts thinking he’s almost ready, lingering guilt the only thing keeping him from taking that final step, Greg reaches over him with his free hand and closes the cupboard.

A spike of irrational anger rushes through Ed – how dare Greg make that decision for him? – but it’s gone in a matter of seconds. Of course Greg knows. Greg always knows. He’s been through enough shit of his own to understand exactly what Ed is going through and that’s why Sophie called him tonight. Because when the stress of the job rears its ugly head at home and she doesn’t know how to handle it – and he never wants her to have to learn – she calls Greg. He’s the only one brave enough – or stupid enough – to challenge Ed out of his funk.

“Come on, you need to get some rest,” Greg says and Ed stands with a wince as his knees protest, reminding him that he’s getting older.

Greg’s hand leaves his shoulder for the small of his back, a continued pressure that gives him both comfort and strength as Greg guides him towards his bedroom. Sophie is probably still up and she’ll be relieved, but truth be told it’s that hand that keeps him moving forward, not the thought of his wife waiting for him.

“Here you are,” Greg murmurs as they reach the bedroom door, keeping his voice down so as not to wake up Clark.

Ed turns to face him, silent thanks that he knows aren’t necessary written all over his face. But he wants Greg to see them all the same and he does, smiling that half-smile of his as he pulls Ed into a quick hug that’s more pat on the back than real embrace. And Ed suddenly wants – _needs_ – things he can’t put into words, never could, and his grip on Greg shifts, tightens as he pulls him closer and he only has to turn his head sideways for his lips to brush against bare skin.

They’ve been in that exact same position before but it never goes farther than this – and as much as Ed would like to pretend that’s his doing, it’s all Greg’s. Were it up to him, he would have gotten his friend in a bed a long time ago but Greg won’t let him make the same mistakes he did, won’t let him risk his family. And Ed is grateful, he is, because he loves his wife but there are times when he needs something she can’t give him and he can’t help but wonder…

He knows he should stop, that one day his relationship with Greg might suffer from it, but he _can’t_. He needs those stolen moments as much as he needs to go home to his family after a hard day’s work and they are so rare he tries to draw each one out.

But Greg pulls away like Ed knew he would, detangling himself and taking a step back. This time his smile is sad and a little wistful and Ed is hurting him, he knows he is, but he sways towards him all the same, his body trying to follow even as his mind tells him he can’t. It’s Greg’s palm on his chest and his eyes flickering over his shoulder towards the doorway behind them that stop him and Ed doesn’t have to look to know that Sophie is standing right there, probably wondering what’s taking them so long. Still he allows himself a few more seconds of indecision, torn over missed opportunities and lost chances, but again Greg takes the decision out of his hands.

“Go to bed, Eddie. It’s okay,” he says and gives him a little push towards the door – towards his wife.

Ed goes.

“I made the guest bedroom for you,” Sophie tells him and Greg thanks her, wishing them both good night before retreating down the hallway.

Ed watches him walk away and waits until he’s out of sight before he turns to face his wife. He wraps an arm around her and she doesn’t feel quite right, too small and too soft. Still he lets her steer him towards the bed and curl against him under the covers and attempt to comfort him.

He closes his eyes and tries not to think about Greg lying awake so close and yet so far away.

He fails.

And when he sleeps he dreams of a world that’s free of ghosts and where he doesn’t have to choose.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my livejournal.


End file.
